How to Survive Your Quarter-Life Crisis
Your quarter life crisis is NOT a sign that you're failing.
Quarter life crises are notoriously awful, and if you're going through one right now, I'm sorry. Remember, you're not alone!
Maybe you graduated with a degree you loved (shout out to humanities and social sciences) and now you're staring at a job market that doesn't seem to speak your language. Maybe you've been working retail or pouring coffee or stacking up short internships, and you're wondering how everyone else seemed to get a memo you missed. Feeling lost in your 20s doesn't mean you did something wrong - it just means you're ready for more.
A quarter-life crisis is that stretch in your 20s, often right after college or a few years into one of those ‘just-to-get-by’ jobs, when you feel stuck, behind, or not sure what you're supposed to be doing with your life. It might look like career confusion, a pit in your stomach when people ask you about your plans, or wondering whether your degree was a mistake.
I've been through my own quarter life crisis, and I coach young professionals through theirs at Aspire Brighter. This post is all about the one tip I come back to again and again.
How to Get Through a Quarter Life Crisis: Choose Your Anchor
My best tip for getting through a quarter life crisis is to choose one anchor, one aspect of your life, to plan around while you figure out the rest by trial and error.
You don't have to solve your career, your city, your relationships, and your finances all at once - that’s a recipe for overwhelm. Instead, start by just picking the one piece that matters most to you right now. Let it determine a few decisions for you, and give yourself permission to be flexible about everything else.
Anchor Idea #1: Location, location, location.
My anchors in my 20s were all about where I wanted to live. First, I knew I wanted to live abroad. I hadn’t traveled abroad in undergrad, and I was so curious to immerse myself in a different culture. I also knew that I didn’t want to have to learn a different language (I’m embarrassingly monolingual), so that narrowed down my options quite a bit. I decided that I was a bit too shy to build community without a structured program, so I applied for graduate school programs abroad, and that’s how I ended up at LSE (the London School of Economics & Political Science).
It didn’t take long living in London before I realized that I hated the rainy weather and desperately missed my family and friends. So, as soon as I finished my master’s dissertation, I set a new location-based anchor: live in sunny weather, as close as possible to my favorite people back home. I didn’t mind having to take a low-paying retail job to hold me over until I could find something that better aligned with my passions, because it was worth it to be reunited with my people (and out of that endlessly gloomy weather!).
Did that retail job turn out to be my dream? No, not at all. But, having an anchor meant I wasn't spinning in circles. Every choice got easier because I knew what I was building around.
Anchor Idea #2: Career Growth
Some of my clients already have a clear picture of what their dream job would be - or, at least, what field their dream job would be in - and they let that shape their anchor. Their priority becomes getting as much professional experience in their chosen field as possible.
They’re willing to move across the country, deal with a ridiculously long commute, or take any odd job at the bottom of the ladder, just to get a foot in the door. This can be incredible for resume building and networking!
And it doesn’t have to come at the cost of everything else; the other stuff just might take more intention. When I chose location as my anchor, it took more patience and perseverance to find jobs and build a career I loved. People who choose career growth as their anchor can dedicate effort and time into attending local events to build their own community, and to traveling home for long weekends and holidays to visit loved ones.
What will your anchor be?
No one can tell you what your anchor should be - that’s up to you. And these are only two ideas, there are infinite more. As long as you keep asking yourself the big questions of what you really want your life to look like, and taking steps to make that happen (within the parameters of your anchor), you’ll be just fine.
Still feeling a little stuck?
No pressure, but if your brain is doing that thing where it spirals about your future at 11pm, a Career Clarity Call might save you a few sleepless nights. We’ve got you! Hop on a quick 30 min call with me for just $20, or grab a package of longer sessions for a deep dive into your next steps.
